Martin Olson

THE CONQUEST OF HEAVEN: Encyclopaedia of Hell II

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Evil Readers, as ye partake of Encyclopaedia of Hell, rejoice! The poetic sequel written by demons has arrived!

A tour de force of darkness, The Conquest of Heaven is a strange and deadly sequel to the infamous volume Encyclopaedia of Hell. It is an “ancient history book from the distant future" concerning the invasion of Heaven by Hell's invading hordes of Demons. Its many unpleasant gothic illustrations and diagrams explain the strange and curious destiny of God and of his/her/its beloved Enemy, Lord Satan of Hell.

 

After Hell’s army conquers Insignificant Earth and devours the human race in a celebratory feast, Lord Satan reveals that he will now journey deep into the universe to find the throne of the despised Creator. There Satan will depose God and take his rightful place as Emperor of Existence. However, Lord Satan soon faces certain Oblivion when he enters Heaven’s labyrinthine Library, from which there is no escape.

Meanwhile, the Armies of Hell launch their invasion to find Lord Satan and conquer Heaven. But instead, they find a disturbing secret at the core of Creation too shocking for even a demon to stomach.

Behold it all in The Conquest of Heaven, a disgraceful tour de force of literary Blasphemy! Pickled with paradoxy, puzzles and paranoia, herein lie terrible cosmic secrets stolen from God’s Library, including the mystery of why God created Satan, never mind mosquitoes, cellulite and murder hornets.

Since this book is the 666th commemorative edition eons after the Invasion of Heaven by demons was successful, this gorgeously designed and illustrated volume contains special commemorative material written by God, Satan as they cast enchantments in an attempt to keep their creaking, paradoxical Universe from falling apart.

Martin Olson’s savage wit provides the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished since Mark Twain passed―channeling the real voice of Satan. As a satirist, Olson has inflicted numerous comedy series on the populace via HBO, CBS, Showtime, Comedy Central, Disney, and FX. He has infamously appeared as the Lord of Evil (Hunson Abadeer, father of Marceline the Vampire Queen) on the Cartoon Network series ADVENTURE TIME.

Coming someday to a hellish theater near you: Encyclopaedia of Hell--The Movie! The pernicious production rights have been most evilly obtained by the demonic executives at Warner Brothers.

 

"Absolutely one of the funniest books ever."

Lars Ulrich, Metallica

 

"Written by a man whose mind has an extra dimension."

Steven Wright, comedian

 

"Brilliant in the vein of Twain with an air of Voltaire."

Marc Ian Barasch, author